The Merc’s Dan Brown has an annoying habit of coming up with ideas I wish I had had. Yesterday, Mr. Imsocreative re-ran the 2005 story he wrote about Alex Smith’s first-ever start, which came against the same Colts team he faces Sunday. I remember Smith struggling, but - yikes! — I forgot just how bad things were back in 2005. Here’s my game story from that Sunday. Enjoy the stumble down memory lane:

Rookie mistakes take their toll

By Matthew Barrows
BEE STAFF WRITER
SAN FRANCISCO — Maybe one day when they’re old and gray, Alex Smith and Peyton Manning will sit down and swap stories about their inauspicious starting debuts.

If they do, Smith definitely will have the better woe-is-me tale.

While Manning tossed three interceptions against the Miami Dolphins in his first start in 1998, Smith on Sunday more than trumped his fellow No. 1 draft pick, throwing four interceptions and losing one fumble in the 49ers’ 28-3 loss to Manning’s Indianapolis Colts.

How bad was it for the 21-year-old rookie?

Smith’s leading receiver, at least in yardage, was Colts linebacker Cato June, who intercepted two of his passes for 39 yards and scored a touchdown. In the second quarter, he threw three interceptions versus only two completions, earning a rare 0.00 passer rating for the period. He threw twice to receiver Brandon Lloyd, and both passes were picked off. Lloyd, who was averaging more than 81 receiving yards a game, made no catches.

Asked how he would rate himself, Smith said, “Not good enough.”

“I wasn’t happy with all the turnovers I had today,” he said. “As a quarterback, when you turn the ball over that many times, it makes it tough for your team to win.”

Coach Mike Nolan, meanwhile, had his second bizarre postgame news conference, answering just three questions before zipping out of the room. He said Smith’s five turnovers were not expected, but that he was pleased with the rookie’s poise and resilience.

Resilience proved to be a crucial quality. Smith was sacked five times, including a helmet-to-helmet shot by David Thornton that brought the Colts linebacker a 15-yard unnecessary-roughness penalty.

That Manning and the undefeated Colts (5-0) would blow out the reeling 49ers (1-4) was not a shock. That they would do so despite a shaky, error-ridden offensive performance was a bit surprising.

Entering the game, no opposing quarterback had thrown for fewer than 342 yards against the 49ers’ defense, and Sunday, the San Francisco secondary was missing four of its top five cornerbacks.

Manning, however, never seemed to find a rhythm. He finished with 255 yards and one touchdown with two interceptions. He also was sacked for the first time this season when Andre Carter corralled him for a 10-yard loss in the second quarter.

Manning and his favorite receiver, Marvin Harrison, also had a chance to break a record set by former 49ers Steve Young and Jerry Rice by connecting on their 86th touchdown pass. The duo came close, but Manning’s third-quarter bomb to Harrison glanced off the receiver’s right hand and was grabbed by 49ers cornerback Bruce Thornton in the end zone.

Afterward, there was a sense among the 49ers that the beleaguered defense finally was beginning to pull itself together, even if the offense appeared to be tumbling in the opposite direction.

“We were able to get the first sack of the year on (Manning),” said defensive end Bryant Young, who entered the game as the league’s sack leader. “That was one of the plays we did well, but we needed more of that.”

As for Smith and the offense, the game plan was to lean heavily on the running game and keep things simple for the rookie passer. Kevan Barlow did his part by rushing for 99 yards, easily a season high, while his backup, Frank Gore, ran for 31 yards.

Smith also showed promising signs early before unraveling in the second quarter. Two of his interceptions were thrown into heavy coverage, and another was on a fluttering deep pass he made while falling backward with two Colts linemen in his face.

Afterward, Smith said his only consolation is that other quarterbacks have had similarly dubious first starts.

“Look at Peyton Manning,” Smith said. “He set the rookie record for interceptions (28) and came out on the other end side of the tunnel and was better for it. It’s nice to talk to veterans who have been through this before and know that things will get better.”

Meanwhile, with Maiocco planning to make a triumphant return from the flu today, here’s something I wrote while I was stuck on the Houston George Bush International Airport tarmac for two freakin’ hours Monday morning.

Ok, I admit it. I’m a bit of a germaphobe. And, yes, this whole swine flu thing has got me a wee freaked out. And, yes, I may be a little more concerned with hygiene - my own and that of those around me - than the average bear. But I swear I am not exaggerating when I say that I routinely find myself seated next to my opposite on plane flights. Before boarding a flight, I pray to God that I sit next to an attractive, single and under-5′4″ young woman. Instead He pairs me with Typhoid Larry.

It’s well-documented science that viruses, such as the common cold, are passed along by a combination of A.) not washing your hands and B.) touching your nose or your eyes with said unwashed, germ-laden hands. Whenever I’m in a public place like an airport, I’m on the lookout for face touching. A guy takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes - dude, you just gave yourself swine flu. A young woman innocently wipes her nose - nice going, Sally, enjoy your bout with swine flu. Yes, sometimes it’s difficult to resist the urge to touch your face. Over the years, however, I’ve developed a Jedi-like discipline in that regard. I could wake up with a tarantula crawling across the bridge of my nose. I wouldn’t swat it off for risk of touching my face.

The guy next to me this morning in 17B had no such discipline. In fact, he had the terribly annoying habit - which manifested itself as soon as the cabin doors closed - of constantly biting his nails. And not just biting. Fishing for the bits of chewed nail inside his mouth, inspecting each one as if he was an archaeologist examining a rare fossil and then WIPING IT ON HIS SEAT before beginning the nightmarish cycle anew.

Of course, I reacted like the adult male I am — by squirming in my seat, wriggling myself into a tiny ball and engaging in other passive-aggressive actions I hoped would communicate my discomfort at his germ warfare. That didn’t work, so I cleared my throat. Loudly. Still, it produced no cease fire from Nasty McJaggednails, so I turned to my right and stared daggers into the side of his head. He was watching a terrible SciFi flick on his laptop and was oblivious to my Vulcan death stare. At that point I contemplated killing him with a karate chop to the back of his neck. I would be like Arnold in “Commando.” When the flight attendant arrived with the drink cart, I would turn to her and say, “Don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired.” I would wink and say it in an Austrian accent.

That, however, would involve a tactile encounter with another human and thus expose me to a risky germafication of the hand. So I resisted. Instead I channeled all my loathing and pent up anger into writing this account. I also bathed my hands in a juice-glass-worth of Purell — that sweet elixir of life — after we landed. I feel a little better.

– Matt Barrows

The Merc’s Dan Brown has an annoying habit of coming up with ideas I wish I had had. Yesterday, Mr. Imsocreative re-ran the 2005 story he wrote about Alex Smith’s first-ever start, which came against the same Colts team he faces Sunday. I remember Smith struggling, but - yikes! — I forgot just how bad things were back in 2005. Here’s my game story from that Sunday. Enjoy the stumble down memory lane:

Rookie mistakes take their toll

By Matthew Barrows
BEE STAFF WRITER
SAN FRANCISCO — Maybe one day when they’re old and gray, Alex Smith and Peyton Manning will sit down and swap stories about their inauspicious starting debuts.

If they do, Smith definitely will have the better woe-is-me tale.

While Manning tossed three interceptions against the Miami Dolphins in his first start in 1998, Smith on Sunday more than trumped his fellow No. 1 draft pick, throwing four interceptions and losing one fumble in the 49ers’ 28-3 loss to Manning’s Indianapolis Colts.

How bad was it for the 21-year-old rookie?

Smith’s leading receiver, at least in yardage, was Colts linebacker Cato June, who intercepted two of his passes for 39 yards and scored a touchdown. In the second quarter, he threw three interceptions versus only two completions, earning a rare 0.00 passer rating for the period. He threw twice to receiver Brandon Lloyd, and both passes were picked off. Lloyd, who was averaging more than 81 receiving yards a game, made no catches.

Asked how he would rate himself, Smith said, “Not good enough.”

“I wasn’t happy with all the turnovers I had today,” he said. “As a quarterback, when you turn the ball over that many times, it makes it tough for your team to win.”

Coach Mike Nolan, meanwhile, had his second bizarre postgame news conference, answering just three questions before zipping out of the room. He said Smith’s five turnovers were not expected, but that he was pleased with the rookie’s poise and resilience.

Resilience proved to be a crucial quality. Smith was sacked five times, including a helmet-to-helmet shot by David Thornton that brought the Colts linebacker a 15-yard unnecessary-roughness penalty.

That Manning and the undefeated Colts (5-0) would blow out the reeling 49ers (1-4) was not a shock. That they would do so despite a shaky, error-ridden offensive performance was a bit surprising.

Entering the game, no opposing quarterback had thrown for fewer than 342 yards against the 49ers’ defense, and Sunday, the San Francisco secondary was missing four of its top five cornerbacks.

Manning, however, never seemed to find a rhythm. He finished with 255 yards and one touchdown with two interceptions. He also was sacked for the first time this season when Andre Carter corralled him for a 10-yard loss in the second quarter.

Manning and his favorite receiver, Marvin Harrison, also had a chance to break a record set by former 49ers Steve Young and Jerry Rice by connecting on their 86th touchdown pass. The duo came close, but Manning’s third-quarter bomb to Harrison glanced off the receiver’s right hand and was grabbed by 49ers cornerback Bruce Thornton in the end zone.

Afterward, there was a sense among the 49ers that the beleaguered defense finally was beginning to pull itself together, even if the offense appeared to be tumbling in the opposite direction.

“We were able to get the first sack of the year on (Manning),” said defensive end Bryant Young, who entered the game as the league’s sack leader. “That was one of the plays we did well, but we needed more of that.”

As for Smith and the offense, the game plan was to lean heavily on the running game and keep things simple for the rookie passer. Kevan Barlow did his part by rushing for 99 yards, easily a season high, while his backup, Frank Gore, ran for 31 yards.

Smith also showed promising signs early before unraveling in the second quarter. Two of his interceptions were thrown into heavy coverage, and another was on a fluttering deep pass he made while falling backward with two Colts linemen in his face.

Afterward, Smith said his only consolation is that other quarterbacks have had similarly dubious first starts.

“Look at Peyton Manning,” Smith said. “He set the rookie record for interceptions (28) and came out on the other end side of the tunnel and was better for it. It’s nice to talk to veterans who have been through this before and know that things will get better.”

Meanwhile, with Maiocco planning to make a triumphant return from the flu today, here’s something I wrote while I was stuck on the Houston George Bush International Airport tarmac for two freakin’ hours Monday morning.

Ok, I admit it. I’m a bit of a germaphobe. And, yes, this whole swine flu thing has got me a wee freaked out. And, yes, I may be a little more concerned with hygiene - my own and that of those around me - than the average bear. But I swear I am not exaggerating when I say that I routinely find myself seated next to my opposite on plane flights. Before boarding a flight, I pray to God that I sit next to an attractive, single and under-5′4″ young woman. Instead He pairs me with Typhoid Larry.

It’s well-documented science that viruses, such as the common cold, are passed along by a combination of A.) not washing your hands and B.) touching your nose or your eyes with said unwashed, germ-laden hands. Whenever I’m in a public place like an airport, I’m on the lookout for face touching. A guy takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes - dude, you just gave yourself swine flu. A young woman innocently wipes her nose - nice going, Sally, enjoy your bout with swine flu. Yes, sometimes it’s difficult to resist the urge to touch your face. Over the years, however, I’ve developed a Jedi-like discipline in that regard. I could wake up with a tarantula crawling across the bridge of my nose. I wouldn’t swat it off for risk of touching my face.

The guy next to me this morning in 17B had no such discipline. In fact, he had the terribly annoying habit - which manifested itself as soon as the cabin doors closed - of constantly biting his nails. And not just biting. Fishing for the bits of chewed nail inside his mouth, inspecting each one as if he was an archaeologist examining a rare fossil and then WIPING IT ON HIS SEAT before beginning the nightmarish cycle anew.

Of course, I reacted like the adult male I am — by squirming in my seat, wriggling myself into a tiny ball and engaging in other passive-aggressive actions I hoped would communicate my discomfort at his germ warfare. That didn’t work, so I cleared my throat. Loudly. Still, it produced no cease fire from Nasty McJaggednails, so I turned to my right and stared daggers into the side of his head. He was watching a terrible SciFi flick on his laptop and was oblivious to my Vulcan death stare. At that point I contemplated killing him with a karate chop to the back of his neck. I would be like Arnold in “Commando.” When the flight attendant arrived with the drink cart, I would turn to her and say, “Don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired.” I would wink and say it in an Austrian accent.

That, however, would involve a tactile encounter with another human and thus expose me to a risky germafication of the hand. So I resisted. Instead I channeled all my loathing and pent up anger into writing this account. I also bathed my hands in a juice-glass-worth of Purell — that sweet elixir of life — after we landed. I feel a little better.

– Matt Barrows

The Merc’s Dan Brown has an annoying habit of coming up with ideas I wish I had had. Yesterday, Mr. Imsocreative re-ran the 2005 story he wrote about Alex Smith’s first-ever start, which came against the same Colts team he faces Sunday. I remember Smith struggling, but - yikes! — I forgot just how bad things were back in 2005. Here’s my game story from that Sunday. Enjoy the stumble down memory lane:

Rookie mistakes take their toll

By Matthew Barrows
BEE STAFF WRITER
SAN FRANCISCO — Maybe one day when they’re old and gray, Alex Smith and Peyton Manning will sit down and swap stories about their inauspicious starting debuts.

If they do, Smith definitely will have the better woe-is-me tale.

While Manning tossed three interceptions against the Miami Dolphins in his first start in 1998, Smith on Sunday more than trumped his fellow No. 1 draft pick, throwing four interceptions and losing one fumble in the 49ers’ 28-3 loss to Manning’s Indianapolis Colts.

How bad was it for the 21-year-old rookie?

Smith’s leading receiver, at least in yardage, was Colts linebacker Cato June, who intercepted two of his passes for 39 yards and scored a touchdown. In the second quarter, he threw three interceptions versus only two completions, earning a rare 0.00 passer rating for the period. He threw twice to receiver Brandon Lloyd, and both passes were picked off. Lloyd, who was averaging more than 81 receiving yards a game, made no catches.

Asked how he would rate himself, Smith said, “Not good enough.”

“I wasn’t happy with all the turnovers I had today,” he said. “As a quarterback, when you turn the ball over that many times, it makes it tough for your team to win.”

Coach Mike Nolan, meanwhile, had his second bizarre postgame news conference, answering just three questions before zipping out of the room. He said Smith’s five turnovers were not expected, but that he was pleased with the rookie’s poise and resilience.

Resilience proved to be a crucial quality. Smith was sacked five times, including a helmet-to-helmet shot by David Thornton that brought the Colts linebacker a 15-yard unnecessary-roughness penalty.

That Manning and the undefeated Colts (5-0) would blow out the reeling 49ers (1-4) was not a shock. That they would do so despite a shaky, error-ridden offensive performance was a bit surprising.

Entering the game, no opposing quarterback had thrown for fewer than 342 yards against the 49ers’ defense, and Sunday, the San Francisco secondary was missing four of its top five cornerbacks.

Manning, however, never seemed to find a rhythm. He finished with 255 yards and one touchdown with two interceptions. He also was sacked for the first time this season when Andre Carter corralled him for a 10-yard loss in the second quarter.

Manning and his favorite receiver, Marvin Harrison, also had a chance to break a record set by former 49ers Steve Young and Jerry Rice by connecting on their 86th touchdown pass. The duo came close, but Manning’s third-quarter bomb to Harrison glanced off the receiver’s right hand and was grabbed by 49ers cornerback Bruce Thornton in the end zone.

Afterward, there was a sense among the 49ers that the beleaguered defense finally was beginning to pull itself together, even if the offense appeared to be tumbling in the opposite direction.

“We were able to get the first sack of the year on (Manning),” said defensive end Bryant Young, who entered the game as the league’s sack leader. “That was one of the plays we did well, but we needed more of that.”

As for Smith and the offense, the game plan was to lean heavily on the running game and keep things simple for the rookie passer. Kevan Barlow did his part by rushing for 99 yards, easily a season high, while his backup, Frank Gore, ran for 31 yards.

Smith also showed promising signs early before unraveling in the second quarter. Two of his interceptions were thrown into heavy coverage, and another was on a fluttering deep pass he made while falling backward with two Colts linemen in his face.

Afterward, Smith said his only consolation is that other quarterbacks have had similarly dubious first starts.

“Look at Peyton Manning,” Smith said. “He set the rookie record for interceptions (28) and came out on the other end side of the tunnel and was better for it. It’s nice to talk to veterans who have been through this before and know that things will get better.”

Meanwhile, with Maiocco planning to make a triumphant return from the flu today, here’s something I wrote while I was stuck on the Houston George Bush International Airport tarmac for two freakin’ hours Monday morning.

Ok, I admit it. I’m a bit of a germaphobe. And, yes, this whole swine flu thing has got me a wee freaked out. And, yes, I may be a little more concerned with hygiene - my own and that of those around me - than the average bear. But I swear I am not exaggerating when I say that I routinely find myself seated next to my opposite on plane flights. Before boarding a flight, I pray to God that I sit next to an attractive, single and under-5′4″ young woman. Instead He pairs me with Typhoid Larry.

It’s well-documented science that viruses, such as the common cold, are passed along by a combination of A.) not washing your hands and B.) touching your nose or your eyes with said unwashed, germ-laden hands. Whenever I’m in a public place like an airport, I’m on the lookout for face touching. A guy takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes - dude, you just gave yourself swine flu. A young woman innocently wipes her nose - nice going, Sally, enjoy your bout with swine flu. Yes, sometimes it’s difficult to resist the urge to touch your face. Over the years, however, I’ve developed a Jedi-like discipline in that regard. I could wake up with a tarantula crawling across the bridge of my nose. I wouldn’t swat it off for risk of touching my face.

The guy next to me this morning in 17B had no such discipline. In fact, he had the terribly annoying habit - which manifested itself as soon as the cabin doors closed - of constantly biting his nails. And not just biting. Fishing for the bits of chewed nail inside his mouth, inspecting each one as if he was an archaeologist examining a rare fossil and then WIPING IT ON HIS SEAT before beginning the nightmarish cycle anew.

Of course, I reacted like the adult male I am — by squirming in my seat, wriggling myself into a tiny ball and engaging in other passive-aggressive actions I hoped would communicate my discomfort at his germ warfare. That didn’t work, so I cleared my throat. Loudly. Still, it produced no cease fire from Nasty McJaggednails, so I turned to my right and stared daggers into the side of his head. He was watching a terrible SciFi flick on his laptop and was oblivious to my Vulcan death stare. At that point I contemplated killing him with a karate chop to the back of his neck. I would be like Arnold in “Commando.” When the flight attendant arrived with the drink cart, I would turn to her and say, “Don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired.” I would wink and say it in an Austrian accent.

That, however, would involve a tactile encounter with another human and thus expose me to a risky germafication of the hand. So I resisted. Instead I channeled all my loathing and pent up anger into writing this account. I also bathed my hands in a juice-glass-worth of Purell — that sweet elixir of life — after we landed. I feel a little better.

– Matt Barrows